As a leader I have to be in constant state of grounding and centering as life is happening, the economy is happening and the world is happening around me and to me. So, I bring to you a bucket full of self healing tools that I have mastered along the way. Valuable tools that I share with you in my workshops, retreats and training's, proven to be successful and effective whether you are an executive director of an organization, a community leader, a mother, partner or a women on the front lines of your own life.
If you are a decision maker interested in learning more about my consulting services, please read below as I share the basic components with you, my experience with them and contact me!
1. Are you following or leading with your Heart?
THE HEART OF JUSTICE--- Why I integrate CHAKRA BALANCING AND ENERGY Work into my approach healing trauma!
Recently, I went to see a psychotherapist for my journey of in bold rebirth. I was feeling like I was falling apart. I had lost at it all and I no longer had access to who I was and I wasn't quite sure who I was becoming. So, I was in what they call the most important part of the journey the in between, the in the meantime rest stop and I was scared. I was at this rest stop and I wasn't my adult self, instead i was this scared little girl that didn't trust anyone, everyone had become a stranger in my life, i didn't belong anywhere, all my friends, my partners, even my children felt like they had left me.
Then one day my best friend Anna said I have wanted to give you a gift to help you through this time, she wanted to make me herbs, remedies etc and as she talked about it she said no instead I am giving you the gift of a one time session with Myriam Laureano, psychotherapist. I was desperate, i didnt believe in therapy but I felt like nothing else was working so I went and this is what I found out about me! (By the way I have been seeing her for over 3 mths now and it has changed my life because she embodies everything that I stand for, she is a coach, she integrates 12 step and other self healing models into her work, she does energy and chakra balancing, I couldn't have asked for anything more.)
The heart is the heart of love and justice and because of this it gives unconditional love, it gives justifiably. therefore the motives of the heart are always correct. However, when there is trauma
the heart becomes the victim heart, the co-dependent heart. You know when the victim heart is at work because it says to you "you should know better", "don't you open me up to be hurt again", and the "ill be damned if that happens to me again". When I went to see Myriam, my victim heart had taken over my body, it was telling me all of this and then some, so I slept all day, sat at the rest stop and saw every bus and car, friend and community member that came to pick me up go by but I would not get on or go because "i would be damned if I got hurt again and I should no better"! Except in the present moment I didn't need to be thinking that way, thinking that way kept me a victim to my life even though it seemed like it was keeping me safe at the same time. i was hurt and angry but I didn't want to grow up, staying in this mode kept me from being responsible for my life cause hey, after all they did it not me, it happened to me.
The little girl , the victim child within me, the little girl who got abused, molested, abandoned she was sitting at the rest stop screaming for protection and I could not protect her because she had taken over every cell in my body and she could not protect herself, so we where in a bind, a devastating exhausting cycle of violence and non of us could win. We couldn't win, my children couldn't win, my partner couldn't win , my work couldn't win, in this game no body one, everyone in my life was confused, walking on egg shells, resentful and angry.
You see we all have a victim child inside of us, they live in our womb but when we get triggered, when we feel unsafe, threatened , experience or witness trauma they take over not only our heart but our solar plex, our place of power our center, they take over our ability to be wise to connect to our spirit, our intuition . We become defensive, emotional , frightened, lost, confused and the wise person within, who has been here many lifetimes could not move in to tell us what are our next step should be. The wise person within is the parent of this victim child and only they can give it what it needs so they are quiet and still enough to let the adult do their work and protect them.
Picture it, have you ever felt like a two year old, throwing an internal sometimes external tantrum, wanting to be seen and heard, wanting to be loved and touched, protected, wanting to belong to a family cause yours may not be safe, having to create another one but not knowing how so you replicate the old one and all its unhealthy ways. Its like your world is spinning and you cant stop!
Well, your not crazy! Your world is spinning. Your third eye, the space right in between your two eyes that is your connection to see the unseen and that is because here is where the wise person in you lives, they have been in your life in this lifetime many times before and they know exactly what to do. But when your victim child takes over, they make your third eye spin and you have no connection to the wise person inside of you.
Make it stop spinning! Don't you feel like that sometimes, like can someone please help me stop spinning, I feel like i am in a spiral down ward and I cant get out? How do you experience emotions from a place of power where they don't take over and de-fragment us? That was my million dollar question, how do I get out of this rut so I can be the powerful person I am?
Well, when a child is abused, the first thing we do is take care of the child first. So, how do we do that when there is no adult around or we don't know how? Another ways of saying this is also how do we bring the third eye into alignment? You ask the child to speak!
When Myriam said this to me, I was like what? and then I got it as an assignment for homework? When I got home it made total sense to me, having children and all, I thought as my victim child as a real child. I gave her a name, and age and I made her real. So, now when she shows up. I breathe and I ask her what does she need? and I listen to what my inner voice has to say! Remember we are experts of our lives!
Then I listen to my heart, remember the heart has all the unconditional love the child within needs and it does the right things for the right reason but only the wise person within protects the heart or it would always get hurt because it cannot decipher for itself.
Then I check in with my solar plex, where my will power lies, my center, my connection to my purpose and what I most care about. And I ask myself am I willing in to get out of the victim position in this situation and take care of the child within me? The answer to this question is the life long journey. Are we willing to get out of the victim position in any every of our lives long enough to hear the wise person within speak and protect us in the present moment if that is what we need?
Are we willing to renounce our false sense of control and power that we feel we have when we are a victim blaming another for our way of being, for our choices?
How do we as leaders in our life respond authentically in our relationships?